Vampires everywhere (plus, a contest)

These days there seem to be more vampires around than you can shake a stake at. On TV, with “True Blood” and the CW’s new series “The Vampire Diaries“; on the big screen, with the films New Moon and Jennifer’s Body; and definitely in books (which inspired all of the above except Jennifer’s Body, an original screenplay by Diablo Cody).

A new wave of books is feeding on the lifeblood of this vampire explosion—vampire humor and mashups. Newbie and wannabe vamps will slurp up The New Vampire’s Handbook, a snarky look at life as one of the undead that was edited by “the Vampire Miles Proctor.”

Useful advice on topics like “Fighting Werewolves” and “Common Puncture Methods” are punctuated by “Words to Live Forever By” sections that offer advice like this:

If you find yourself fumbling at any point in your approach, try making a little small talk with your victim. Ask about his favorite hobbies, television shows or his taste in popular music. Then, once you’re both feeling a little more relaxed, savagely plunge your fangs into his neck.

Another new book, The Vampire Is Just Not That Into You, plays off of both a book and the vampire trend (nicely done, Vlad Mezrick!). Any girls looking to lure a sparkly Edward Cullen of their very own will treasure the advice provided here, which includes ideas for making your bedroom more vampire-friendly (avoid thick comforters which can “muffle the exhilarating and delicious sound of your heartbeat”), 10 things not to bring up when meeting his family (don’t bother asking for family photos!) and stories from real-life girls and the vampires who (might) be into them.

From the section on “10 tips on dating a (much) older man”:

#4 Learn about his past. It would be super awkward to invite your vampire to tour Gettysburg if it turns out he, um, left mortality behind during the Civil War. Avoid forcing him to relive painful moments, like bloody wars or the time he missed an early opportunity to invest in Microsoft.

In case you need further proof that vampires are everywhere, did you know Mr. Darcy was one of the undead?

Time for a poll:

And a giveaway: comment about your favorite vampire story of all time (book or TV) before Friday, October 16 and win three books from our Halloween roundup, including Otto Penzler’s The Vampire Archives. US residents only this time. Good luck!

9 Responses to Vampires everywhere (plus, a contest)

  1. Kerry says:

    Ok, it’s totally cliche, I know, but Dracula (the original) is hands down my favorite vampire story. Even re-reading the text now, despite the numerous adaptations and the fact that I know the ending, it still succeeds in being downright terrifying.

    Interview with a Vampire is another classic fave… my dad gave me a copy of his to read when I was about 12 and I don’t think I slept for weeks.

  2. Mike says:

    Although I’d recommend the Sir Arthur Conan Doyle short story, “The Adventure of the Sussex Vampire,” for real vampire suspense, nothing would compare to Estleman’s “Sherlock Holmes vs Dracula.”

    Sure it isn’t the greatest vampire story ever written, but is my favorite. I love the fact that the author put these two great literary giants, from the same location and time, into the same storyline. It’s a little scary, a little mysterious, and a lot of fun.

  3. chris says:

    I Am Legend is by far one of THE classic books that technically has vampires in it. But it isn’t at all cheesy. Read it!

  4. […] “put a pulse in that body.” Lately, she said, she’s seen far too many “fairies and vampires” rather than living, emotional (human) characters with real stories to […]

  5. travis says:

    Dracula by far is my favorite. I love the style it is written in. The diary entry’s and letters make it fun to see the story from all the different characters perspectives. Plus you get that dark and creepy vibe all throughout the book. Sorry, but glittering bodies just don’t have the proper vampire feel for me.

  6. I know it’s bad form to plus one’s own book, but you brought up vampire dating so I simply have to! (My vampire friend Mordred hates it when we’re left out, LOL).

    “How to Catch and Keep a Vampire” not only tells you everything you need to know about meeting a vampire and making him your own, it also shares some insights into why we love the undead and what we can do to make the most of our obsession. I keep hearing from readers that they loved the “Top Ten Vampire Pickup Lines.” So, yes, it’s a funny book but also enlightening…romantic…scary…and full of hot vampires.

    Thanks for letting me share, and I hope you’ll check out the book if it appeals!

    –Diana Laurence (

  7. Lori says:

    It has to be Lestat! Anne Rice created an complex anti-hero that I love to hate!

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