These days there seem to be more vampires around than you can shake a stake at. On TV, with “True Blood” and the CW’s new series “The Vampire Diaries“; on the big screen, with the films New Moon and Jennifer’s Body; and definitely in books (which inspired all of the above except Jennifer’s Body, an original screenplay by Diablo Cody).
A new wave of books is feeding on the lifeblood of this vampire explosion—vampire humor and mashups. Newbie and wannabe vamps will slurp up The New Vampire’s Handbook, a snarky look at life as one of the undead that was edited by “the Vampire Miles Proctor.”
Useful advice on topics like “Fighting Werewolves” and “Common Puncture Methods” are punctuated by “Words to Live Forever By” sections that offer advice like this:
If you find yourself fumbling at any point in your approach, try making a little small talk with your victim. Ask about his favorite hobbies, television shows or his taste in popular music. Then, once you’re both feeling a little more relaxed, savagely plunge your fangs into his neck.
Another new book, The Vampire Is Just Not That Into You, plays off of both a book and the vampire trend (nicely done, Vlad Mezrick!). Any girls looking to lure a sparkly Edward Cullen of their very own will treasure the advice provided here, which includes ideas for making your bedroom more vampire-friendly (avoid thick comforters which can “muffle the exhilarating and delicious sound of your heartbeat”), 10 things not to bring up when meeting his family (don’t bother asking for family photos!) and stories from real-life girls and the vampires who (might) be into them.
From the section on “10 tips on dating a (much) older man”:
#4 Learn about his past. It would be super awkward to invite your vampire to tour Gettysburg if it turns out he, um, left mortality behind during the Civil War. Avoid forcing him to relive painful moments, like bloody wars or the time he missed an early opportunity to invest in Microsoft.
In case you need further proof that vampires are everywhere, did you know Mr. Darcy was one of the undead?
Time for a poll:
And a giveaway: comment about your favorite vampire story of all time (book or TV) before Friday, October 16 and win three books from our Halloween roundup, including Otto Penzler’s The Vampire Archives. US residents only this time. Good luck!